Like any good exclusive society, the Minions have secrets, imparted by Ultimate Drew himself, that must be guarded closely.  Should a non-Minion click on one of the links below....well, do you remember the opening of the Ark in Raiders of the Lost Ark?  It's worse than that.  Much worse.

If you are a Minion, please proceed with the clickage to learn how you may achieve fulfillment in service of Our Leader.

Missions - Things that the Minions must accomplish to bring about the glorious reign of the Ultimate One over this pitiful and undeserving earth. 

Six Secrets - Revealed truths about the nature of Minionhood.

Handshake - The handshake that separates the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the women from the girls, and the Minions from the minions.