"I don’t think I’m supposed to read fanfic. Unless it stars me. And is dirty. Really, really dirty."

Perhaps Drew was only joking during his second gracious appearance at the Bronze when he urged, "let's get some Ultimate Drew fanfic going." Perhaps he didn't mean to spawn what will surely be an endless line of inspired stories dedicated to his munificent wonderfulness. Perhaps he didn't think there would be anyone out there crazy enough to take his suggestion and run with it.

Well, he was wrong.

The Kitten Schemes Tonight by Dachelle
(written for Algerina's Second Annual Fan Creative Writing Contest)

Melt with Drew (song) by P.M. Marcontell

The Minions of Ultimate Drew site welcomes fanfiction submissions. In keeping with the tone of this site, entries should strive to be humorous (striving and failing is O.K. - what matters is the attempt). All fanfic should carry at most a PG-13 rating. Absolutely no NC-17 fics allowed, no matter what Drew says at the Bronze! Be sure to include copyright disclaimers with your work. Shorter fiction is preferred. If your fic is long, please break it into chapters. Dachelle reserves the right to exclude any fanfic she feels is unacceptable from this site. Although this reminder probably isn't necessary, please remember that Drew and the other Mutant Enemy staffers are real people, and anything mean-spirited or potentially squicky involving them will not be tolerated on this site.

All fanfic should be submitted via e-mail to .