Tuesday, August 27, 2002 will forever be a hallowed day for the Minions of Ultimate Drew, for it is the day that Our Most Gracious and Good Leader revealed to us the Six Secrets of Minionship on the Bronze:Beta.

Minions everywhere know, love, and live by these special words:

Faithful Minions,

It is I, your leader. Please keep these simple things in mind:

1. You are my Minions. This makes you better than other people.
2. Never be afraid to point out #1 to other people. Both parts.
3. I am very proud of all of you.
4. Your love of me informs me that you are all great people. Nice job.
5. You will all encounter good fortune simply because you follow me. Congratulations.
6. In addition to good fortune, I believe we now all qualify for some sort of tax break. So that’s nice. Every little bit helps, right?

Every little bit helps.

Ultimate Drew